To My Little Sisters

Ten Things I Miss About Kaye...

1. Eating green mangoes with bagoong sprinkled with sugar while sitting on the couch watching television.

2. The quaint naivety uncommon to her age.

3. Her murderous versions of the songs in our videoke sessions.

4. Her leg on my leg whenever we would watch t.v. together.

5. The way she would respond every time our dad would call her "princess".

6. The way she would curl up in bed like a baby next to my mom and daye.

7. The way she eats "krispy pata". The way she munches on the ligaments with gusto. As if she has not eaten for a few weeks.

8. Her deformed finger... it's ugly but it gives her personality.

9. Buying our dinner when we were in med-school together. Of course, she would do the dishes.

10. Her sweetness when she is in the mood, I DON"T MISS, however, the "toyo". It's really annoying hehehe.

Ten Things I Miss About Daye...

1. She's my eating buddy....'nuff said.

2. Kissing her. rarely can I do that now. Dalaga na raw siya e.

3. The way she sleeps. Very similar to the way dad sleeps. Right hand overhead with the right leg elevated hehehe.

4. The way she argues about political issues with dad's friends.

5. Her company here at home. Rarely does she go home now because of work.

6. Watching ASAP with her. Mahal nya si jericho, mahal ko si maja hahahaha

7. How her tears easily fall when she is touched by a movie or even just a scene.

8. Her cooking... she's a very good cook...

9. Her hand massages. Hay hay... she no longer does this to me...

10. Her sweetness and thoughtfulness..."pasalubongs" when she does come home.

I never realized it would be this hard trying to list 10 Things you miss about a person even though you have lived with that person your whole life. I thought it would be very easy and I never was so wrong. But the bottomline is this... I love my sisters and I will forever be a Big Brother to them. I miss and I love you both.

SELF MOTIVATION... I hope this works...

Lately, I find myself uninspired...

Don't get me wrong. I am not lazy. It's just that lately I have been content on going with the flow of day to day life. My life has been a routine. Everyday is becoming a drag. Things have been the same and I am getting bored to the brink of unhappiness.

I need an inspiration... a little push that will help me appreciate life more.

I was never like this before. I was easy for me to find inspiration before. Just the sight of my childhood crush or the sight of a basketball court was enough to make me pen a poem or dream of becoming a great basketball player. It was that easy to be happy. It was that joyful to live.

But lately, I think maturity has crept up to me. Unwillingly and unwantedly. With age, life has become a little more complicated. Finding happiness has become so difficult. Being happy has been a chase.

Gone are the days when I could just stay at home, watch television the whole day and sleep smiling with contentment all over my face. Gone are the days when I would just play my heart out in basketball and go home sweaty, bruised and battered to the scolding words of grandpa and his unyielding stick and yet, still sleep with the vivid memories of the things I've done in the basketball court. Gone are the days of simple pleasures and childhood happiness that is brought about by being innocent than by being naive.

Maturity is overrated. Growing old is not what it's hyped to be. With age comes heartaches, pains and troubles that will forever scar one's heart. It brings about wrinkles and age-spots and gray hairs. It brings about loss of stamina and a whole myriad of diseases that comes with being old. And as in my case, I has brought about a sense of boredom that I have never felt for long time.

Am I hitting midlife crisis??? Oh my God!!! I hope not. I am just thirty years young and I know I have a long long way to go and have so much to offer. I am not yet done. I have a lot of things to accomplish still.

Right now, maybe I should disturb the status quo. I will try to live. I need not look for my inspiration. It would come. Eventually. and when it does, I will make the best of it and something good will come out of it. I may not be that naive no more but I definitely can be a child at heart. And I can be happy.

Maybe it's time I bring out my basketball shoes again? What do you think?